Tag: decluttering

Shedding

It’s the end of the year and that’s a great time for shedding. I’m not suggesting you slither out of your skin. And I’m not saying you should go build a man or woman cave. I’m referring to letting go, leaving or removing ‘things’ that are no longer good for you.

Those ‘things’ can be objects in our homes that no longer have purpose or give joy; or clothes we no longer choose to wear because they don’t make us feel good.

They can be actions we take, mindlessly, because we have always done them. They are patterns of behavior that don’t serve us anymore and keep us from moving forward. If there is no reward, why keep doing it?

Some habits are detrimental to our health. My weakness is for sweet things: cake, chocolate, ice cream. And crisp white wine. Neither are good for physical well-being and professional advice is to cut them down. I need to shed the habit of such indulgence, and make it a treat now and then.

Shedding relationships is much more difficult. And sometimes a relationship is the most important thing we can let go of. Whether it be parent/child, husband/wife, friend/‘friend,’ if it makes us feel bad, drains our energy, generates self-doubt or keeps us from being ourselves, it should go. It can be almost impossible to divorce ourselves from a relationship, but it can be most liberating.

Being true to ourselves is one of the hardest things to be. Social norms insist we’re polite and behave according to rules of our culture, family or social group. We’re all brought up to be ‘good,’ and it can be challenging if we discover that being ‘good’ doesn’t serve us well. We learn to wear a mask, even with our loved ones. But how can someone love us truly if we’ve disguised our true natures and desires? Shed the mask and we might lose a few friends, but we might also gain truer friendships.

Let unfavourable things go at the end of the year. It makes psychological space for the entry of more favourable possibilities in the new year. Shed, and put fresh skin in the game.

PS. On a personal note, I was the successful bidder, last month, on a small house (see the Take a Chance blog) and therefore I have begun the shedding of things, with enthusiasm! It also means that I will be thinking of new things next year. All that I keep and all that I gather, will serve a purpose and give me joy.

2020 will, for me, be a fresh start. I hope it will be for all of you too. What will you shed now to make space for good things in 2020?

The Dilemmas and Ethics of Decluttering

Moving to a new house and downsizing make for a perfect opportunity to declutter. I’m a fan of decluttering and have rarely regretted discarding anything. Now that I’m nearing grandparent age, that large tub of Lego, though, is one!

The Marie Kondo technique of holding an object to decide if it gives you joy, will help in the decision making. And her advice to turn the focus from what will I throw out? to what will I keep? is brilliant!

Sometimes you can pick something up and feel intuitively that it has no place in your life anymore. My stunning, velvet, classic line, pants have been sitting in the wardrobe for years, unworn. That’s because my lifestyle has changed. It’s a rarity to need to dress up so much and I have other choices. I love them but don’t need them. My rational self has been a meddler in the decision to get rid of them. Maybe I’ll need them one day. Well, that’s not good enough. Someone else can benefit from them now. Thinking of yourself as generous may help this process.

Clothes decisions can be difficult but they’re manageable when you mean business and just do it.

For me, the kitchen stuff will be easy. I’m not going to need ten microwave dishes or twelve overly tall champagne flutes anymore. Who wants to entertain on that level? Likewise, do I really need fifteen vases when I only like having a small posy on the kitchen bench?

The difficult objects are those with emotional value: family heirlooms, wedding gifts, memorabilia. However, the same ruthlessness should apply. What can be passed on? What will the kids want?

On a here and now basis, what about the gifts from good friends, that you don’t use? Some of these might be from Christmas twenty years ago. Some from last birthday. If it’s a knickknack in a cupboard, an accessory not really your style, or one of a thousand bracelets you don’t wear because you only wear your favourite five, it is time to move it on!

And here is the ethical dilemma! What do you do with them? The last thing you want to do is offend a friend. They love you and have given you something they love. So, do you fess up and offer it back to them, declaring that you really enjoyed your time with it but now there is no room? Or do you stay silent and pass it on to someone else you love? Or put it on eBay?

To coin a cliché, this is a first world problem. And one exacerbated by affluence. I don’t know what the answer is, but the cowardly approach is looking good.

I can live with that as long as I’m not a coward in the decluttering.

My lifestyle has changed. My house size is changing. I’m getting old. I don’t want the shackles of being tied to things anymore. Decluttering will make me lighter and freer. And therefore, it needs to stay!

 

 

To my friends (who read my blog):

I really have loved all the gifts I’ve received and I’m keeping many. So many, that I don’t want any more! Your presence is all I need to keep me happy on my birthday, and maybe, the occasional luxury hand-cream or chocolates. 😉

 

I liked this blog when I was reading about Marie Kondo’s advice in her book, ‘the life changing magic of tidying up.’

https://www.onekingslane.com/live-love-home/marie-kondo-book-declutter/